my brother, my obsession
by jka1
Summary: Dean Winchesters love and obsession for Sam is unhealthy to say the least. This is an AU fic where they are all a normal family and is set from deans POV. please read and review, warnings for incestual thoughts and dark themes


_**My brother, my obsession**_

**Hi everyone jka1 here with a new story this story is similar to my first one forbidden love but this story is set from the show supernatural in which dean has a deep obsession for Sam. This is a one shot by the way; I don't plan adding anymore chapters…**

**If you don't like don't read you've been warned and please don't flame me cos I don't think it's nice ;)**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy this story although it may disturb some people **

**Warnings – Incest, disturbing themes, murder, slight violence, slash (sort of) AU fic (their mum never died and they are a happy family) **

**Disclaimer – I don't own anything related to supernatural although I wish I did thinking dirty thoughts about a certain dean Winchester hehe ;) **

_Deans POV_

He never knew what went on inside my head. He never knew the deep desires of my heart and mind. I mean we're brothers so it was kind of hard to tell him if you get my drift. I hide behind a mask, you could say that to him I was always a regular brother; granted I was over protective but that's expected when you're the big brother. To him I was his best friend as well as his older brother. And true I was, but he thought that my actions towards him were out of friendship and sibling love, what he doesn't know was that changed a long time ago. The reason for my actions changed as the dark desires of my mind began.

We have been as close as can be since we were very little, I can remember as far back as the age of when I was 6 when I only thought of him as the cute innocent little toddler that I would play with and considered my best friend. I would hug him when he cried and kiss him when he smiled while my mum and dad looked on fondly at the scene. It was some of the best times of my life when we were all care free and innocent. I should have noticed the signs right back then, I used to get very jealous when Sam's attention would be distracted from me and he would pay attention to other people. I just passed it off as nothing.

As time went by, we grew and soon we entered our pre-teenage years. That's when I found myself looking at him… just simply studying his movements. At that time I didn't see anything wrong with it, I mean after all he was my brother, why shouldn't I pay attention to him?

As time went by he changed both mentally and physically, he was much less dependant on me and more confident in his whole attitude and I of course didn't fail to notice now I was looking at him whenever he read, whenever he ate…whenever he did anything.

I seemed to capture each of his movements careful and I found them all beautiful. As the years went by I noticed that my eyes were not the only things reacting to him, I would always feel my cock stir whenever he smiled at me, whenever we 'fought' and his angry expression would give me a raging hard on, whenever he sighed which would cause me to shift my trousers uneasily as I tried to cover my erection. I knew that these thoughts I had were wrong, I mean for fucks sake hes my younger brother and that thought should have disturbed me but strangely enough it didn't.

I knew from the age of 17 that I was in love with him…I guess I always have been and that thought comforted me and overtook my strange desire to feel repulsed by my desires for my innocent brother. However I knew that Sam couldn't find out my feelings, he would probably never talk to me again so I trained myself to hide my desires, in a way I created a mask, a mask that would hide the real me and let him see the perfect brother that he thought of. My Sam was too innocent to notice anything, to innocent to notice my lie. I comforted myself with thoughts of Sam and I created a world of illusions that fed on the thoughts of him, my beautiful torment, my deep obsession, my key to insanity and happiness.

My love for Sam turned even more twisted, I knew I couldn't have him and my feelings turned into an obsession… an obsession over my brother, my reason for living, my uncontrollable want over him made me shudder with want and need. I thought of him as mine and only mine, in my mind he didn't need anyone else but me; his brother, not even our mum and dad. He could smile just for me and he could laugh just for me. I remember when I was 18 and he was 14 when I used to well up with jealousy when he smiled at someone else or when something else would bring laughter to his voice or when something or someone would make him happy that was not caused by me.

And when he was sad it made me mad, no mad was an underestimate it made me pissed beyond words. I felt this blinding rage inside of me that made me want to kill, destroy the very thing that brought a frown on his face; I hated it with a passion to see him cry though my Sam rarely cried and only did it in front of me! I hated it when tears would stain his beautiful dark eyes and I would want to cry for him.

My love for Sam got even worse as I noticed that after my beautiful Sam grew out from his lanky and chubby form and started to look like a Greek god personified he was starting to get the attention of other people and by other people I mean other girls (and even boys in some cases).

I noticed them looking at him with longing looks in their eyes whenever they would hang out at our house. I remember one time when I went to pick him up from school, he was walking towards me with a stunning smile on his face directed **at me** and then all of a sudden this slut randomly walked up to my Sam and started talking to him or as I saw it randomly started flirting with him. This boiled my blood, set me into a fit of insane jealousy, every time one of those bitches would come near and supposedly get his attention with their charm. I remember that night I comforted myself by thinking deaths for them in painful ways, I know that doesn't sound like something a sane person would do but when it came to Sammy my rationality just flew out the window.

The real problem started though when this stupid bitch actually asked him on a date but what made it worse was that he fucking accepted. This was what broke the last bit of sanity I had left in me. I could not sleep at night thinking that this so called Melinda would take what was rightfully mine. I hated her more than I hated anyone in my life, the fact that she dared to even talk to my Sam meant that she would have to pay.

I think it is pointless to say how I was feeling when my Sam told me the news of his 'date' to me and our parents. While my mum and dad smiled at my brother's happiness and joy, I was feeling a torrent of emotions. I was angry, mad, enraged not to mention completely insanely jealous. I think that at this point there were no words to describe how I felt. I had reached the point of complete insanity. So I did what an insane person would do, I spent nights planning it, on how I would get _rid _of this Melinda once and for all...

It wasn't that hard to do actually, on the day of this farce of a date I sneaked out of the house, stole a car and drove to this Melinda's house. I waited in the car patiently outside her house. When she came out of her house I proceeded to follow her movements slowly as she walked up the pavement. When I was sure we were deserted and there was no one in sight I put my foot down on the pedal and ran her over before she even had a chance to scream. I actually smiled when I felt the thud on the car and saw her broken still body lying on the pavement. I left the car in a forest nearby and went back to my house.

The first thing I noticed when I sneaked into my room and went into the kitchen was my Sam. He looked gorgeous, absolutely stunning. It still made me mad as hell that he dressed up like that for that skanky bitch but at least she wouldn't take my Sam away from me anymore. I was practically leaping with joy when my Sam realized that she wasn't coming, but I had to control myself when I saw the sad look on his face. Oh how I had to muster every ounce of strength in my body not to give into the temptation of leaping into the air and shouting out to every one how happy I was that that bitch was out of my way for good. But I had to swallow down my happiness and console him; his first date had supposedly just ditched him.

It wasn't until he came back to school that he found out that Melinda had been involved in a hit and run which had led into a death, I was even happier by the fact that my Sam got even closer to me as I played the perfect part of caring and loving brother.

He did not notice that every action that I did was all for him. Yes I love him but I am also afraid of him, afraid of his rejection, afraid he'll leave me if he finds out the extent of my feelings for him. But my want and need for him is even more consuming then my fears of his rejection. I feel as if im so consumed by my love for him that I am drowning, im suffocating from the fantasies I want to act out and yet cannot.

I try not to think of him but no matter what I do or what I _try _to think he will not go away from my mind for a second, he's in my blood, no he is part of my blood, I think seeing him every day is what keeps my blood coursing through my veins, he is the cause for my every breath, he is my drug, my addiction.

Anyway im moving away from the subject, after the Melinda incident my Sam was distraught and guilt ridden, thinking that it was his fault that she was dead. I realized I had the perfect opportunity to get closer to my Sam. Slowly with a caring voice and fake intentions of brotherhood I convinced him that none of this was his fault and that he shouldn't take heed to what people will say. He did eventually cease and came to only find refuge in my arms. I spoke softly to him soothing words in his ear that told him to trust me, that he would always have me and only me and that I would never leave him like she did.

As time went by my Sammy got over Melinda's death but friends of his who I was sure were trying to take him away from me would suffer unfortunate 'accidents'. Sam would get even more distraught thinking he was cursed while people eventually started to draw away from Sam for fear that something would happen to them.

In time Sam learned to close his surroundings for fear that people would die or get hurt if they knew him, to close out the people I led him to believe were cruel, and see only me, to trust only me and he did this because he still saw me as his best friend, his brother, his protector. I realized I was anything but these things, I knew I was hurting my Sam but the end result would be worth it. I had to make sure my Sam wouldn't leave me.

I remember when I was 21 and Sam was 17, I had finally got my own apartment and Sam had begged to move in with me. Who was I to refuse when I wanted the exact same thing? Of course it took our parents some convincing but one look of my Sam's puppy dog look and their resolve crumbled away.

Things were great for a while; I finally had my dream come true…well as close as it could be, I had my Sam all to myself but then he decided to test my sanity once more. Sammy only needed a few more months until he graduated from high school and then go to the collage of his choice; it was not until a few weeks of his graduation that he told me and our parents he wanted to go to a collage thousands of miles away from me. He wanted to go to Stanford.

At that moment I felt I couldn't breath, my love was going to leave me. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, he was supposed to fall for me and we were going to become a couple. Well im going to make sure we do. There was no chance in heaven or hell I was going to let him leave my side. He was going to stay with me. He was going to learn to love me, more then as a brother but as his lover, his dominant mate. All I have to do is plan some more and soon he would be mine…

_**The end ** _

**Well what do you think, please REVIEW and let me know as I LOVE reading feedback? **

**I really hope that you enjoyed this it was just something that came up in my head well anyways hope you read and review as this is my first supernatural fic -**


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